


to live for the hope of it all

by thelastjeqi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A lot of angst there, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And a little fluff here, Angst with a Happy Ending, Description of sex ( no graphic totally sfw ), F/M, Mention of minor characters - Freeform, Rey and Ben have a secret affair, Songfic, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25572208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelastjeqi/pseuds/thelastjeqi
Summary: She would have liked to stay on his body longer before she left.She’d like to stay on his skin forever.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17
Collections: Reylo/Folklore Drabble Collection





	to live for the hope of it all

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to [reylotrash711](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylotrash711/pseuds/reylotrash711) for hosting this super cute collab inspired by Taylor Swift’s latest album “Folklore”. It was so fun to take part to!   
>    
> 
> 
> This short songfic is based on the track called “[August](https://youtu.be/nn_0zPAfyo8)” and for some context: as you can see in the tag Ben and Rey have a secret affair, that means something is between them. What? It’s up to you and your fantasy. Are they cheating their partners? Only one of them is doing it? Or they’re living a modern Romeo and Juliet-esque love story? Or maybe they started their relationship as friends-with-benefits and now they can take of that anymore? Are they scared of being a real couple? Really, your choice. Just make it angsty and pretty stressful.   
>    
> 
> 
> Follow me on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/thelastjeqi) and support me on [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/qreatgatsby), if you want.

_i_.

Rose likes to think she can read people.

As she knows that her boyfriend is not listening to the discussion that takes place near them despite alternating glances between the two interlocutors; as she knows her sister is annoyed by whatever Poe is saying, even if she didn't make the slightest hint. So she knows something's wrong with Ben.  
  


For this, with one hand in Armitage’s red hair and a leg on his knees, she can not stop staring at him.

Ben caught her staring at him more than once, giving her a tiny humorless smile and pretending to focus on the conversation by actually staring at the void in front of him and then returning to look at his lap. 

With his hands hidden under the table Rose couldn't tell if he was texting or hoping it would happen.

But she could tell that something had happened when he looked up, passed his hand in his hair, and said:

"Guys, I have to go, I'm sorry".

  
  


*

Translucence Cove smells of water. Whether it’s rain, sea or humidity, the smell is always that.  
A smell that asphysisted him, trapped him in a city too small to be important and too big to make everyone know everyone.  
A city suitable for those who want to hide, who are no one and those who hide secrets. 

A city that, comically, suits him.

He watched the second-hand red car approaching from the rear-view mirror, barely distinguishing her figure behind the violent lights of the car.

Leaving his headlights on, he got out of the car. She did the same.  
He looked at her: hands in her pockets behind jeans, white tank top under his sweatshirt. An item she must have stolen from him in one of their meetings. An object that must be kept hidden most of the time.

Leaning lightly on the truck Ben waited for Rey to come before him. Exactly under his nose.

“Hi”, her voice like a whisper. Afraid. Afraid of his reaction, of breaking the night silence, to be discovered.

“Hi”, he answered back. With crossed arms and a sure tone of voice. Sure to be alone in a road desert behind a closed mall.

He could see her baby hair sticking to the forehead due to sweat and loose mascara under her eyes. “How long can you stay?”

“For the whole month, if you want me”.

“Are you coming home tonight?”

And there it’s, the shadow of pain and disappointment on her eyes that anticipates the bad news that will come out of her mouth: "In two days".

And then kissed her with a mount open and wet kiss. Her face in his hands and his shoulders contracted. Because there was nothing else to do. Everything else would have been a waste of time. And they didn't have any.

_ii_.

“Get in the car”.

“No”.

“Get in the _fucking_ car”.

Then Ben got in the car without saying anything. Looking straight ahead of him and pouting his lips.

Rey unlocked her phone and started talking: “hey Finn, I can't come tonight. Tell Jess and the others I'm sorry”. Then she pulled the phone on the dashboard with a burst of rage.

“You said you'd stay all month.”

“It’s only for a couple of days.”

Ben turned to her: “A couple of days that I'm going to waste on doing nothing but pining for you like an idiot and waiting for your message because it's never me calling you or writing to you. I am tired, Rey, _tired_ ”. 

She looked away from the road to point it at him. Her eyes filled with wrath and pain, the latter never absent. "Do you think it's not the same for me?", her voice like a scream.  
Finally, she went back to look at the road: "it's not my fault," she said, this time as a whisper.

“I didn’t say it was”, he said in a calmer tone now, “I _never_ said that”. 

She reached out her hand to him to take it.

He didn’t.

“I'm not going. I'm going to stay. But you don't spend another night away from me”.

At the end he took her hand. 

*

An hour and a half later they’re at home. Naked. Kissing. Touching. On their walls, their couch, and their bed. Apologizing, talking and serenading in the only way they know.

_iii_.

Rey regretted not being more violent.

Under the pale light of dawn of the last day if august Ben's back has a vague gold color due to the tan but the marks left by her are almost invisible. Of the marks left overnight after watching the moon mirror the sea with the taste of wine on the tongue, Rey could only see the rosy shade fading fast.

Rey wished she had sucked for longer and bitten harder. She would have liked to stay on his body longer before she left. 

She’d like to stay on his skin forever.

*

“I’m tired”.

Wrapped in a towel, with wet hair and lips that taste like salt, she is sitting between Ben’s legs, with her back resting on his chest.  
He has an hand casually resting on her thigh and one around her neck, the thumb stroking her cheek: “ _Of course_ _you are_ ”.

She giggled: “not because of that”.

“Good”, he was whispering in her ear. “We can do more”.

But he didn't come near, or tried to undress her. He kissed her head and looked towards the sea without staring at anything in particular. 

“I don’t want to leave. I want to stay”, she said, “I can't take any more of this situation: subterfuge, implausible schedules, long periods of time without seeing each other. I can't.  
I want to come back to you and tell you what I did and saw during the day. And I want you to do the same. I want to go out and have dinner, get drunk in a bar and flirt together without having to watch my back all the time. I want to go groceries with you and do all these other silly things that normal couples do." 

She sit straight, his eyes focusing on her face: “but I– _we_ can’t stay here. This place is not going to be safe much longer”.

Ben took a deep breath and nonchalantly said, "then let's go out of this town”.  
  


Rey was taken aback, “We can’t just leave like that”.

“Who says so?” he shrugged, “it’s not really a crime. People move in every day”, a pinch of obviousness.  
“Let's go north, in the mountains, my mom’s parents had a house, now empty. Or let's go wherever you want. We could move to India for what I’d care”. 

Her mouth open. Her eyes wide open. Her expression still shocked.

“Rey,” he leaned near to her, whispering “I'm here, you're here, you've got everything you need in your bags. We don’t need anything else”. 

She asked, whispering too: “Are you sure?”

“Never have I ever before”.

She kissed his knee gently, and then laid her face on it. Ben took her in his arms immediately and for once, staring at the sea turning grey under the cloudy sky, they felt like they had all the time in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> **STAR WARS**
> 
> [ Translucence Cove ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Translucence_Cove)


End file.
